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    Funny one-liners

    The difference between in-laws and outlaws?
    Outlaws are wanted.


    Alcohol is a perfect solvent:
    It dissolves marriages, families and careers.


    A fine is a tax for doing wrong.
    A tax is a fine for doing well.


    Archeologist: someone whose career lies in ruins.

    An archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have:
    The older she gets, the more interested he becomes in her.


    There are two kinds of people who don't say much:
    Those who are quiet and those who talk a lot.


    They say that alcohol kills slowly.
    So what? Who's in a hurry ?


    Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
    Never drink and derive


    One nice thing about egotists:
    They don't talk about other people.


    There was a man who said,
    "I never knew what happiness was until I got married...

    and then it was too late

    Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves.
    After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
    Last edited by bschew; 03-27-2012 at 01:14 PM.

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